Dating spouse while separated
BTW, this topic has more than likely been posted on here before but I just can't find it. People getting the wrong idea about where the relationship is heading, confusion, etc. But, if you're trying to reconcile, it makes a lot of sense. Well, it would be nice to talk about it, but that's not the path I took.Please feel free to chime in with your opinion 'cause I sure as h*ll don't know what lays ahead for me. I left to live my life now, not to continue to answer to her and feel guilty about anything.And because of my separated status, hanging out with them and doing couple's things just isn't as much of an option.So I needed to expand my social horizons, and I figured I might as well do it with someone who smells nice and looks good in Lu Lu Lemon yoga pants, you know?If the new chick was around so soon after you left her/checked out, she will prob spend the rest of her life thinking that was the nail in the coffin to your relationship with her. I'm thinking a year is the minimum amount of time before anything serious should be thought about.Part of my issue is that many of my friends are married couples.And part of me is concerned that the emotions in the relationship that's developing is strictly the "rebound" effect... I think she is just tired of the grind of daily life.Having someone that really seems to care about you, who's concerned about you, who wants so badly to make you happy. I posted this on another thread already, I don't drink (well, a beer every two months maybe), I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, and I don't mess around with other woman, so those are not factors - or are they? No really, I have been a decent husband and a good father and I still love her.
C ^ PB, I have no doubt the divorce would be a lot nastier if your wife caught wind that you'r seeing someone and esp so soon after your separation. No matter how good things are going in the separation, there's a strong likelyhood of baggage to deal with.And she commented on how miserable I was in that time, and how now I've got my smile back, the sparkle in my eye, etc. Part of that is getting out of a bad marriage, and part of it is the way my partner/lover/whatever makes me feel. We're both trying to be realistic about our situations. I thought the reason for separation was to see if there a chance to reconcile, otherwise, why do it, why not just divorce straight away?We know that we're both in rebound relationships, after long marriages. Oh, and I do suspect that if my wife found out I was seeing someone, our separation would turn from amicable to something considerably less than friendly. I am so new to this (or I am naive about trust and love) that I don't see the difference between separation and divorce if the intent of one party is never to go back.The odds of us making this succeed is probably not that good, so we're just trying to enjoy the minute. So I'm telling very few people, and trying to keep things as quiet as possible. It seems like a waste of valuable time to me especially at my age of 50; "in Limbo" as others have posted. Thank you Jelly Beans and PBear ^ Who wants the separation? It may help you to know that Pbear and I have some similarities in our stories and not in others: the main difference is he was done with his marriage upon separating from his wife and wanted to end the marriage whereas my separation was very traumatic.
I will wait for others to chime in but I am seeing that your recommendations for not dating others has a good point - I might like to take a lot of time for myself. I am the one who moved out but I was not ready to end my marriage.
Up here, things don't change even if there's infidelity that can be proven. I am just 4 divorced now and we got this paperwork that said "sign this and you wont have to come to court". Or are you saying that decent people wouldn't get into a situation like that? I went through a number of POF profiles, and there was a pretty good mix of separated/divorced/single profiles.