Mature hook updating
Being let off the hook is about being released out of what could be an unpleasant or at the very least difficult situation, or being released out of something that we don’t want to do.
When we feel that we or someone is on the hook for something, it’s fundamentally tied to a sense of obligation, after all, if we didn’t feel that we or they were duty bound to do something, we’d opt out without fanfare.
We feel so angry and even ashamed about where we feel that we’ve erred that we relive it and critique ourselves for it as often as needed, just in case we forget and eff up all over again.
Our inner critic berates and punishes us under the misguided impression that we will be prevented from whatever it fears for us.
We forget that while we could try to get them to say or do certain things to help us feel better, how we feel about this situation is in our command.
I’m not suggesting that remorse doesn’t help and I think most of us have felt a brief satisfaction from seeing someone who has wronged us squirm, but ultimately a lot of improving the way that we feel and releasing ourselves from the anger, hurt and sadness is about what we think and tell ourselves.
No one is capable of being confident and happy all of the time and as humans, we all struggle on some level with criticism, conflict, disappointment, and rejection.
Is it fair and reasonable to base our self-esteem and whether we feel we have the right to move on and live, on a rejection or disappointment?